Bob  Greig

I have been a single parent since 2004. My two daughters Priya and Anya live with me on a full-time basis. In the last few years I have experienced the highpoints and downside of raising a family on my own. I’ve gone through redundancy, some ill-health, a lack of disposable income and a constant nagging feeling that I should always be doing a bit better. But on the other hand, I get to see my children grow up day by day and in truth I have a better relationship with my daughters now than I ever would have done before. It’s just special.  

But it has taken me some time to get back on my feet.  I’d say 4 years or so. My divorce was tangled, messy, and complicated. Add a contentious dose of the Children’s Act into the mix and you will begin to understand why at the end of the process I was both wiser and weaker.

I’d gone from a fairly laid back and happy professional to a man who couldn’t enter a supermarket for fear of having another panic attack. In those dark years I’d stopped socialising and found safety only in my own house.

Common with single dads I meet, none of us are brought up to raise families on our own. There is a degree of “make it up as you go along” in my house – at times that can be fun; at other times it all feels a bit unsettling. There is love though – and that is what really matters.

Like ALL single Dads, I like that point in the day when the kids are in bed. Then I watch Newsnight and drink Rioja and re-read books by Alan Silitoe and Stan Barstow. One of the (many) joys of being a single parent is that you get to watch and listen to what you want again!  

Professional Background

A couple of years voluntary work with the Mission to Seafarers was followed by a sixteen year stretch with the Church of England in the field of property management. A short time in private property consultancy with King Sturge followed where I was project managing the transformation of churches who were looking to bring community/mixed use into their buildings.

The key to successfully managing a complex property project is to ensure you work with the very best professional team - and by that I mean individuals who combine enthusiasm and technical know-how. I believe that same principle applies to single parents who do need occasional help and support to make the most out of our situation.

Politics

Becoming a single parent brought with it a sharper focus on the multiple pressures many families face in the UK. Finding flexible work, money (or the crippling lack of money), accessing affordable childcare, finding safe and affordable housing, dealing with every family illness and mishap single-handedly, through to getting the childrens' homework done on time...the list of potential pressure points goes on.

But when I listen to the Government talk about single parents, it would be easy to believe that as a "group" we are more of an economic nuisance than an asset to our country...why our considerable contribution to the social fabric of the UK isn't being applauded and celebrated escapes me!

In an effort to help change things, I have been selected to the Approved Candidates' List for the Conservative Party which allows me to stand for a seat in Parliament at the next General Election.

But, elected or not, OnlyDads can fulfill a very useful purpose in raising innovative and helpful ideas for future Governments.

How can the Government support single parent families fulfill their potential and contribute even more to the life of the UK but with much less funding for welfare support is a pressing question. It is my belief that this is best answered by single parents, not politicians, so please email politics@onlydads.org with your ideas so that we can continue to encourage a more informed debate.

Rebecca Giraud

I have been a single mum since 2006.  I live in the South West with my daughter Saskia who is 11.  I have experienced many of the struggles faced when a relationship breaks down and there are children involved.  There’s the endless guilt, fatigue like I have never felt before and of course the on-going struggle to juggle work, make ends meet and to provide a stable and loving home. But, and this is important, three years on and I realise I have much to celebrate.  Not many people decide to be a single parent out of choice and for most people, including myself, it took many many months of reflection with huge support from family and friends to find any strength and self-confidence to really move on.  But I made it and it’s great to be back!   Sure, there are always difficulties that have to be faced in being a single parent but I have much to celebrate as I  can honestly say that it has many positives, most importantly the very close and strong relationship I have with my beautiful daughter.

Professional Background

I have spent the majority of the my professional career working for non-government organisaitons in the area of social development.  In particular I have worked overseas in Southern Africa and the South Pacific in HIV/AIDS and in the UK in the same area.  I have worked with the homeless and those experiencing Domestic Abuse.  I have worked at management level, co-ordinated research projects and have been, and continue to be, involved in carrying out strategic reveiws of services for vulnerable groups.