Carolyn Faulkner - Education Secondary Expert

I studied at King's College, London before pursuing a 20 career in High Schools in London and Yorkshire. I have spent time as Head of Year and appreciate that for many single parents, additional help with "school life" can be needed at times.

If I am not best placed to answer your particular question, I will know someone in the education field who will be - so rest assured your question will be answered in the most professional and accurate way possible.



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Q. This is difficult for me to write. I'm a 55 year old Dad and bring up a 14 year old daughter on my own. I have looked after her single handed since she was 3.
The thing is in the last year or two she has shown no interest in school work or GCSEs. I hdon't know what to do and am worried that without any qualifications she will not get anywhere in life. I sometimes think it would be better for her to leave school now and see
if she could find a job but I know this is not possible. Can you offer me any advice please?
>
> Many thanks
A. It is not clear from your email whether your daughter is in Year 9 or 10 but the advice I can offer applies either way really. You don't say what her thoughts are on all of this or whether you have discussed this with her but I'm guessing she hasn't given you much in the way of an explanation for her change in attitude and lack of interest in school, so you need to sort out what is going on. So here are a few suggestions.

Firstly, it is not uncommon for students to become disaffected or disengaged from school and studying, particularly during Year 9, for numerous reasons. The good news is that in many cases the student's attitude changes during the first few months in Year 10 because their courses change, they have dropped subjects they didn't like, teachers treat them differently, they are given more responsibility, feel more grown up and it dawns on them that the next two years are important.
However, this does not always happen and I am certainly not suggesting that you do nothing now and wait and see, because there are things that you can do now.

I suggest that you contact school and make an appointment to speak to your daughter's form tutor, or better still her Head of Year. They should be happy to do this over the telephone or face to face in school. They will, I am sure, be aware of her attitude and any change in her performance and effort over the last two years.There may well be other issues affecting her, friendship groups in or outside school for example which staff there may well be aware of.

Your starting point with school will be to identify what the obstacles are to her achieving success at the end of Year 11.

Schools today can offer much more than just the academic route through GCSEs, for example, day release to college, pre-vocational courses or a mix of these things tailored to your daughter's skills and interests should be available if that is appropriate. The best way for you find out what is available and to get their views on what might be best is to speak to them directly.

Has she had any careers advice from school or from Connexions? Connexions has lots advice for parents and students which as well as having local branches, is accessible on line too, so that might be something you could do together or she could have a look herself. It may be that she just needs direction, a goal, something to work towards.

I hope this has been of some use to you, but please don't worry about contacting the school, they are there to help.
Regards,
Carolyn.

Q. "I'm a single Mum with three children (14, 9 and 4). I sit down with my 14 year old to help with maths homework and we are at each others throats within 5 minutes. He says "we don't do it that way", and then we can't get any further.

A. The problem here is that Maths teaching has changed a lot over the years and your son probably hasn't done it your way! This doesn't mean you ca't help him, just that you want to avoid confusing him (and yourself).

Basically you need to get your head round the way he does it. I'm sure you've already tried saying ' Well you show me how you do it and then I'll be able to help' and as he probably isn't going to tell you, it might be worth having a word with his maths teacher and asking if there are any course books you could have access to. Failing that there are GCSE guides in the shops which would probably help you both, although again having a word with his teacher to find out what syllabus he is studying would be helpful.
Good luck.